The effects of anger on health have more to do with duration than frequency and intensity. The normal experience of overt anger lasts only a few minutes. But the subtle forms of anger, such as resentment, impatience, irritability, grouchiness, etc., can go on for hours and days at a time. Consistent, prolonged levels of anger give a person a five times greater chance of dying before age 50. Anger elevates blood pressure, increases threat of stroke, heart disease, cancer, depression, anxiety disorders, and, in general, depresses the immune system (angry people have lots of little aches and pains or get a lot of colds and bouts of flu or headaches or upset stomachs). To make matters worse, angry people tend to seek relief from the ill-moods caused by anger through other health-endangering habits, such as smoking and drinking, or through compulsive behavior such as workaholism and perfectionism.iso 45003
Laboratory experiments have shown that even subtle forms of anger impair problem-solving abilities and general performance competence. In addition to increasing error rates, anger narrows and makes rigid mental focus, tending to obscure alternative perspectives. The angry person has one “right way” of doing things, which, if selected in anger, is seldom the best way. There is nothing you can do angry (resentful, irritable, grouchy, impatient, chilly) that you can’t do better not angry.
Because it acts on the entire central nervous system as an amphetamine, anger always produces a physiological “crash,” often experienced as depression when the issues causing the anger remain unresolved. Think about it. The last time you got really angry, you got really depressed afterwards. The angrier you get, the more depressed you get. And that is merely the physiological response, even if you keep from doing something while angry that you’re ashamed of, like hurting the feelings of someone you love.
What is an Anger Problem?
A dangerous myth about an “anger-problem” restricts its definition to aggression, abuse, hurting people, or destroying property. But this describes only one of a great many forms of anger. You have an anger problem if some subtle form of anger – that you may not even be aware of – makes you do what is not in your best interest or keeps you from performing at your highest potential. This could mean something subtle, like putting a chilly wall between you and others or a continual impatience or low frustration tolerance that interferes with problem solving and performance competence.
Whatever the form of anger, in persistence you run the risk of becoming a reactaholic, with your thoughts, feelings, and behavior totally controlled by whoever or whatever you’re reacting to. The more reactive you are, the more powerless you feel; anger is ultimately a cry of powerlessness.
Self-Compassion and Compassion for Others
Mastery of the three steps of self-compassion and compassion for others makes us virtually immune to the ill-effects of anger. The first step of self-compassion is seeing beneath the symptom or defense (anger, anxiety, manipulation, obnoxious behavior) to the cause, which is some form of core hurt (feeling unimportant, disregarded, accused, devalued, guilty, untrustworthy, rejected, powerless, unlovable). Second, the core hurt must be validated (this is how I feel at this moment), and, third, changed (this behavior or event or disappointment or mistake does not mean that I’m unimportant, not valuable or lovable.) Compassion for others is recognizing that their symptoms, defenses, and obnoxious behavior come from a core hurt, validating it, and supporting them while they change it. Compassion does not excuse obnoxious behavior. Rather, it keeps us from attacking the already wounded person, which allows focus on changing the undesired behavior.
Anger Regulation versus Anger Management
Regulation of anger means healing the hurt that causes it by internally restoring the core personal value that seems diminished by the behavior of another. In contrast, anger management requires enduring the hurt that causes the anger but redirecting its effects to avoid aggression and trouble. Anger regulation employs the principles of emotional intelligence: awareness of internal experience, the ability to control the meaning of one’s emotional experience, and empathy for the emotional experience of others. An excellent regulation technique, called HEALSTM, obviates the powerlessness of anger by providing the sense of internal power, well-being, self-compassion, and compassion for others necessary for optimal health and problem-solving. HEALSTM is a technology that, with practice, automatically invokes a response of self-compassion and compassion for others whenever anger and other symptoms and defenses are stimulated, keeping the focus on solutions to the problem, rather than attacking the person. More than 90% effective in lowering anger to problem-solving and performance-efficient levels, HEALSTM can be learned in three or less sessions of training.